All In Energy Drinks: A Lesson In Vial Marketing

The energy fiend is a unique breed of human, both daring and knowledgeable. Unphased by ONLY 300 milligrams of caffeine and unimpressed by a majority of marketing cons, these wired elite aren’t easily amused. Yet companies still choose to half-ass products, adding meaningless hype and otherwise worthless mottoes in hopes of being the next #1 (currently held by your choice of Monster). In an attempt to quell some of these advertising claims, I put All In Energy Drink under the brutal microscope.

For starters, the cans are outright boring. Fake looking flames surround a color coded Chinese-looking symbol that has no reference anywhere on or around the cans. Apparently the circle surrounding the symbol is in reference to a poker chip since “many” professional poker players are undoubtedly sponsored to drink it. The font gets easily lost and random images of playing card suits sit near the bottom under the flavors grape, citrus, and root beer. A faint outline of what appears to be a deformed dragon took multiple glances to distinguish and even then I had no desire to take a second look.

In terms of flavor the relatively small and sugarless 8.4 oz cans leave a lot to be desired. Grape (my usual favorite flavor) tasted watered down and bitter. With a more generic berry flavor than actual grapes or even artificial grapes, I desperately longed for the overpowering grape flavor of Kool-aid after drinking one. Citrus tasted too sharp to enjoy. The small hints of lemon and orange were drowned in the harsh punch of citric acid which left me reaching for orange juice just to wash it down. And lastly the brave can, the Root-Beer that drink makers have often passed over. The one can I was desperately hoping would do well enough to show the mainstream that Root-beer and energy drinks can mix, failed miserably. I could not come close to forcing myself to finish the can and I wish I never come across another root-beer energy drink for the length of my job. Take your favorite A&W Root Beer, add equal parts water, blend well with a heavy dose of the worst tasting supplements you can find and it’s a perfect match.

The motto provided on the cans of “Play harder, last longer, liver better, and go ALL IN!” was so off the mark you’d think they were talking about another product. Actual amounts of B vitamins had no listing and were instead replaced by percentages of daily allowance. The herbal blend that was meant to provide that extra boost was sub-par and again had no mention of amounts. Even the caffeine amounts had no listing, and from there the game was over. I was stupefied trying to find noticeable effects after multiple cans and by then my taste buds were so disgruntled I dared not upset them any further.

I have never had such poor luck with any energy drink I’ve ever come across and I would advise Bev Sci take a serious look at what they’re trying to get their devoted fiends to gulp down. I would highly suggest not spending your hard earned cash on a drink this cringe-worth, especially with a USD $2 price tag.

Looks like ALL IN has been discontinued.

Overall Score (1/5)

Review by Josh (blog: Cubicalism & Coffee)

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