Review: Source Burn Energy Drink
Drink it like you stole it.
Buzz
I like the potent stuff — quite a bit, actually — but those aren’t everyday drinks. If I were to start every morning with 400 mg of caffeine, not only would my co-workers kill me, but my tolerance would go out the window fast. Before too long I’d be racing headlong down that slippery slope towards Vivarin/espresso cocktails and chronic arrhythmia. Don’t get me wrong, I’m about a third of the way there as it is. It’s just that I’m working on a nice, leisurely cruise down that slope so I can enjoy the ride. Drinks like Burn will help with that. It’s strong enough to be worth drinking, but they haven’t crossed the line over into silly-land.
First of all, I have to say that I really like the fact that the Burn people put the caffeine content right on the can. This should be an industry standard. An 8 oz. can has 118mg between the actual caffeine and the guarana, which puts it a bit above a Red Bull for the same caloric punch. Burn is now in a 16oz can with 199mg caffeine (Jan 2008). Otherwise, it’s the usual suspects: Taurine, B vitamins, Ginseng, blah, blah, blah. We all know buzz is subjective, so you all should be able to look at those numbers and judge for yourself what it’s gonna do. I drank two in a day and it felt good, not like stop and wrestle strangers on the street good, but just happy at my desk good.
Taste
As far as taste goes, I really liked both the sugary and sugar free models. I was feeling kind of a citrusy, lemony-limey kind of thing, but I couldn’t quite place it so I went to the closest thing to an authority that I could: this guy Henry that I know. The dude’s a card carrying oenophile and his palette is 100% bulletproof. Seriously, he can taste what the cook had for breakfast. He can taste air. Also, he drinks almost as much of this crap as I do, so you know, he’s one of us. Come to think of it, he should probably be doing this instead of me so I’ll just stop with the Henry worship now before anyone else catches on.
So I pour him a glass. He holds it up, swirls it around, and takes a swig, and then he sits there with that intense, thoughtful look that the wine people get and I’m on the edge of my seat, baited breath and the whole thing. As if it were my new vintage and he was Robert freaking Parker. It was exciting. Really.
So….pineapple. There you go. You can take that to the bank. I’d love to second it, but when I’m not on the go juice I’m usually either into some chocolate milk or a pint of Guinness. That tells you where I’m at on the sophisticate scale. The most descriptive term I could come up with was fizzy.
Whatever. Trust me when I say that Burn tastes a lot better than most drinks I’ve had. Top three or four, easy. You won’t be disappointed.
Crap
Despite that whole “Drink it like you stole it” bit, Burn actually hits what I think is kind of a sweet spot on the obnoxious spectrum. By that I mean the packaging wasn’t self-consciously cool or trendy and you won’t feel like a schmuck drinking one (i.e., the can wasn’t bigger than my head and covered in shiny camouflage). That’s a good thing as far as I’m concerned.
I appreciate the fact that the people behind Burn keep the hyperbole to a minimum. The website is generally focused on the drink rather than people jumping off of things. I’m not really into marketing to the crooked hat crowd. Something about the whole EXXTREEMME!!!! thing just strikes me as distasteful. Maybe I’m just old or maybe it’s the mountains of sweetener or the gigantic cans with the overly creative opening mechanisms. I don’t know, but I’d just as soon stay away. It’s too much like soda, which we are all obviously way too cool for.
The Burn though, I could seriously see myself buying this stuff in the future if not making it my everyday drink. To you all, I say try it and to the boys in Greensboro I say job well done.
Actually, I’m sure you have women in Greensboro too and I mean no disrespect, but, well, you know what I mean.
NOTE: These reviews are 100% authentic. We don’t get paid to endorse, mention, or comment about a certain drink. If we say it tastes like camel urine – well that’s just the way it is.
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